Monthly Archives: September 2011

Skinny Dipping

Skinny Dipping An  elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He  had a large pond in the back. It  was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic  tables, horseshoe courts, … Continue reading

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Clean up on aisle 5

‘Clean up on aisle 5, we have a husband down.’ I vaguely remember hearing those words just before lapsing into unconsciousness. It all started so well, dear reader, even though I was in a supermarket, my  personal version of hell … Continue reading

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Rye Bread

Rye Bread Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath.  The 80 year old was … Continue reading

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If Men Got Pregnant

IF MEN GOT PREGNANT Maternity leave would last two years….with full pay. There would be a cure for stretch marks. Natural childbirth would become obsolete. Morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem. All methods of birth control … Continue reading

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Walk Around the Block

The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you.” Dad said, “Bring Belle … Continue reading

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The Windshield Bug

A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his deplorable infidelity when suddenly the woman reached over, unzipped his fly and sliced the man’s penis off. Angrily, she tossed it out the car window. Driving behind … Continue reading

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80th Birthday

Scotch with two drops of water A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, ‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate … Continue reading

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Italian Tourist

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say … Continue reading

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Twenty Dollars Cash

TWENTY DOLLARS CASH On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made … Continue reading

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The Talking Clock

A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment To a couple of his friends very late one night. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a Big brass gong and a mallet hanging from the Wall. … Continue reading

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