Monthly Archives: June 2012

2012 Stimulus Package

Just wanted to let you know–today I received my 2012 Social Security stimulus package. It contained two tomato seeds, cornbread mix, a prayer rug, a machine to blow smoke up my ass, two discount coupons for KFC, an ” Hope … Continue reading

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The Hunting Story

One night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, “See that old man asleep in the chair by the fire- place? He … Continue reading

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My Neighbor

She’s single… She lives right across the  street. I can see her house from my living room. I watched as she got  home from work this evening. I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway. … Continue reading

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What is couple sex

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, “Grampa, what is couple sex?” The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she’s old enough to … Continue reading

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Subject: 79

I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox informing me that I can have sex at 79. I’m so happy because I live at number 71 so it’s not far to walk home afterwards. And it’s the same side … Continue reading

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The Mexican Maid

The Mexican maid asked her boss for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?” Maria: “Well, Seïora, … Continue reading

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Just a Weeeee Bit…

“An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman. Shortly thereafter he met a … Continue reading

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Your Duck is Dead

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his … Continue reading

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Irish Mirror

After living in the  remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin .  In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it. Not ever having seen … Continue reading

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Getting too old to shop

I’m sending this note from the police station. I had a little problem at the supermarket earlier today. I was at the checkout and the cashier said “strip down, facing me”. Apparently he was talking about my debit card.

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