Monthly Archives: November 2012

Words

WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…. 30,000 to a man’s 15,000. The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything  to men… The husband … Continue reading

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Love after 70

An elderly lady was invited to an old friend’s home for dinner one evening. She was impressed by the way her lady friend preceded every request to her husband with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. … Continue reading

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There are worse things

Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy … Continue reading

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Sex and Grammer

On his 75th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction. After … Continue reading

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Unforgetable Password

My memory really sucks lately, so I changed my password to”incorrect.” That way when I log in with the wrong password, the computer will tell me… “Your password is incorrect!”

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Happy Turkey Day

How To Cook A Turkey: Step 1: Go buy a turkey Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey Step 3: Put turkey in the oven Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey Step 5: Set the oven to 375 … Continue reading

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10 Stages of Success

At age 4   success is.. not peeing in your pants At age 12 success is.. having friends At age 18 success is.. having a drivers license At age 20 success is.. having sex At age 35 success is.. having money … Continue reading

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Getting a Divorce

A daughter says to her mother, “I’m getting a divorce.” All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50 cent piece. When it used to be the size of a nickel. … Continue reading

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Wife VS. Husband

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and … Continue reading

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Die in Peace

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: ‘I have something I must confess.’ ‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied. ‘No,’ he insisted, ‘I want to die in peace. I slept with … Continue reading

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