Monthly Archives: February 2013

Tonto Speaks

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert.  After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, ‘Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Tonto Speaks

What honesty gets you

My Favorite Animal Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on What honesty gets you

Texas Midget

TEXAS Midget…. The testicles of a Texas midget hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Texas Midget

The Babtist Cowboy

A cowboy, who just moved to Wyoming from Texas , walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on The Babtist Cowboy

The Irish Bolnde

An attractive  blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived at the casino. She seemed a  little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand  dollars  in a single roll  of the dice. She said, “I hope you  don’t mind, but I feel much … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on The Irish Bolnde

Skinny Dipping

An elderly man in North Carolina had owned a large farm for several years.  He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Skinny Dipping

Ole & Sven

Ole and Sven were drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Minneapolis and one day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Ole said, “I vish ve had somethin ta … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Ole & Sven

My one day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day…. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on My one day employment

Take me to jail

A Virginia State trooper pulled a car over on I-64 about 2 miles south of the Virginia/ West Virginia Stateline.When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a Magician and Juggler and was … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Take me to jail

A Quote from Harold

QUOTE FROM HAROLD I’ve often been asked, ‘What do you old folks do now that you’re retired?’ Well…I’m fortunate to have a chemical engineering background.  One of the things I enjoy most is converting beer, wine and vodka into urine. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on A Quote from Harold