Monthly Archives: June 2013

OLD

Very quietly I confided to my husband on the eve of our 50th Anniversary that I was having an affair, He turned to me and asked… ‘Are you having it catered’? And that, my friend, IS the definition ‘OLD’!!

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Retirement Planning

If  you had purchased $1,000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. If … Continue reading

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Two Fellas at the Bar

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend “That’s us in 10 years”. He said “That’s a mirror, dip-shit!

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The Lecture

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects … Continue reading

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Georgia

The  owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused  about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask  his secretary for some mathematical  help. He  called her into his office and said, “Y’all  graduated from the  University of Georgia … Continue reading

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Trivia

I had a Trivia competition shot to pieces until the last question which I got wrong.  The question was Where do women have the curliest hair?? The answer I should have given was Fiji .

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Is Romance Dead

A middle-aged couple had finally learned how to send and receive texts on their cell phones. The wife, being a romantic at heart, decided one day that she’d send her husband a text while she was out of the house … Continue reading

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Sweet Revenge

A student is looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library. He asked a girl sat by a table alone: “Do you mind if I sit beside you” The girl replied with a loud voice: “I DON’T … Continue reading

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Hospital Visit Ruined Sex Life

A recent article in the Kentucky Post reported that a man, one Andrew Maynard, sued St. Luke’s hospital, saying that after his wife was treated there, she lost all interest in sex. A hospital spokesman replied, “Mrs Maynard was actually … Continue reading

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Fathers Day

Why is Father’s Day in June? Well, because about a month after Mother’s Day, somebody went… “HEY…Wait a minute here….” So, now that Father’s day is only a few days away, and millions of wives and children are trying to … Continue reading

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