Monthly Archives: July 2013

Getting Older

Two elderly ladies were talking. “At our age, I don’t know what would be worse; Parkinson”s or Alzheimer”s?” one said. Her wise friend answered, “Oh I’d rather have Parkinson’s, definitely Parkinson’s.  Better to spill half my wine than to forget … Continue reading

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Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, … Continue reading

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Potty Break

Men use restrooms for purely biological reasons. Women use restrooms as social lounges. Men in a restroom will never speak a word to each other. Women who’ve never met will leave a restroom giggling together like old friends. And never … Continue reading

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Escaped Convict

A man  escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He ties him to a chair. W hile tying the wife to … Continue reading

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Four Husbands

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then … Continue reading

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Trip to Italy

A young New York woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean, but just before she could throw herself from the docks, a handsome young man, John Cappelli, stopped her. “You … Continue reading

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Irish Alzheimer’s

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, ” Murphy , I am … Continue reading

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Typo

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to … Continue reading

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The Jewish Elbow

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. “You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apartment 301. There is a big panel at the front … Continue reading

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If My Body Was A Car

If my body was a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little … Continue reading

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