Monthly Archives: December 2013

Happy New Year

We were dressed and ready to go out for a New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned on the answering machine, covered our pet Parakeet  and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local … Continue reading

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Important Health Advice for Women

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive? If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Sauvignon Blanc. Sauvignon Blanc is the … Continue reading

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Psychiatrist and Prostologist

Two best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.   Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones … Continue reading

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A Love Story

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.   As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset, … Continue reading

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You are a Grinch

You are a Grinch when… Your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon. You turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away. You buy all of your Christmas gifts at … Continue reading

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Onions and Christmas Trees

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, ‘Dad, how  many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, ‘Well, son, there  are three kinds of boobs: In her 20’s, a woman’s are like melons, … Continue reading

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Don’t Drink and Drive

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my family and friends about drinking and driving.  As you may know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time … Continue reading

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Last Request

A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning. One woman lost it completely. She stood up in the front of the plane and … Continue reading

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Please Shut up

A  police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80  miles per hour , sir .” The driver says,  “Goodness, officer, I had it on  cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs … Continue reading

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Crumpled Money

A man arrived home from work one evening to find his wife sitting on the sofa in a dimly lit living room. With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, “Have you ever seen $20 dollars all crumpled … Continue reading

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