Monthly Archives: May 2014

My Private Part Died Today

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home… One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, ‘Yes, Nurse ‘My Private Part died today, and I am … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on My Private Part Died Today

Romance

Barb was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , | Comments Off on Romance

Midi interpretation

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a bench.  Two of the figures had black penises, … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Midi interpretation

Why she changed motels

Last week, she checked into a motel in Florida and was a bit lonely. She thought, “I’ll call one of those men you see advertised in the phone books for escorts and sensual massage’s.” She looked through the book, found … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Why she changed motels

My Desire

Someday I guess I’m just gonna get arrested, but I can’t resist off-the-wall humor when people least expect it… I went into this department store and was greeted by a female salesgirl, who said,”Good afternoon sir, and what is it … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on My Desire

Cowboy Boots

A woman went into a bar in Texas and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest feet she’d ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it’s true what they say about … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | Comments Off on Cowboy Boots

Speeding Judges

Two small county judges both got arrested for speeding on the same day. Rather than call the state Supreme Court for a visiting judge, each agreed to hear the other’s case. The first judge took the bench while the second … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , | Comments Off on Speeding Judges

Happy Mothers Day

In wine there is wisdom In beer there is freedom In water there is bacteria Remember: Water = Poop Wine = Health Therefore it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid than to drink water and be full of crap. … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Happy Mothers Day

25 Things Mama Taught Me

25 Things Mama Taught Me 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE ‘If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.’ 2. My mother taught me RELIGION ‘You better pray that … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on 25 Things Mama Taught Me

The Waiting List

When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, “Will it be long?” The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, “How … Continue reading

Posted in Humor | Tagged , , | Comments Off on The Waiting List