Monthly Archives: July 2014

Art Lover

A couple at an art gallery see a picture of a naked woman with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife doesn’t like it and moves on, but the husband keeps looking. She asks, “What are you waiting for?” … Continue reading

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Some Men Never Listen

In a hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but it had always been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said “you may use the ladies room if you promise not to … Continue reading

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Too Tight

An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me?” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” … Continue reading

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The Potty

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what’s up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. … Continue reading

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Retire to Phoenix

You can retire to Phoenix , Arizona where… 1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade. 2. You’ve experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl. 3. You can drive … Continue reading

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An Italian Girl

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport. “Thank you, honey,” she says. “What would you like me to bring back for you?” He laughs and says, “An Italian girl!” … Continue reading

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Another Fishing Tale

I went fishing one morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog … Continue reading

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The Beer Conference

There’s a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar. The president of ‘Budweiser’ orders a Bud, the president of ‘Miller’ … Continue reading

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Oldman’s Link with God

An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, ‘ George, everything looks great.How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God? ‘ George replies, … Continue reading

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The Agony of Aging

On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend. He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish. I said to him, “You better get your hearing checked – You’re supposed to … Continue reading

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