Tag Archives: Bar

Senior pick up

An elderly gentleman walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, hair well groomed, great-looking suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looking image. Seated at the end of the bar is an fine-looking elderly lady. … Continue reading

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DUI-Montana Style

Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Miles City,  MT.  After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar apparently so intoxicated that he could barely walk.The man stumbled around the parking lot for a … Continue reading

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Just the other night…

I was in a bar with my friend the other night, and I asked, “Did you know that Elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?” And he shot right back… “Aww, shit, and I just joined the Knights … Continue reading

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Siamese Twins

Two Siamese twins walk into a bar in Toronto and park themselves on a barstool.  One of them says to the bartender, “Don’t mind us; as you can see, we’re joined side by side at the hip. I’m John, he’s … Continue reading

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Drinking Buddies

I pointed to the two older drinking guys across the bar from us and told my friend Bob, “That’ll be us in ten years.” He turned to me and said, “That’s a mirror, you dumb shit.”

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The Christmas Party

The Christmas Party FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director TO: ALL EMPLOYEES DATE: December 18 RE: Christmas Party I am happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 24, starting at noon in the … Continue reading

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Christmas Story

A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.   As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset, … Continue reading

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A Hot Day in Arizona

My neighbor, Lena: “Gootness, it’s hotter dan hell tuday,” she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed a tavern and thought, “Vy nodt?” She walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender walked … Continue reading

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Senior Pick-Up Line

A rather elderly gentleman (mid-eighties) walks into an upscale cocktail lounge. He is very well-dressed, smelling slightly of an expensive after-shave, hair well-groomed, great-looking  plaid suit, flower in his lapel. He presents a suave, well-looked-after image. Seated at the bar … Continue reading

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A Sportsman’s Double

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old, In fact she wasn’t too bad at all! We drank a bit, we had a snuggle, and she asked me if … Continue reading

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