Tag Archives: Bed

Get me to the hospital

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. “Nurse,”‘ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my … Continue reading

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I need a push

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door.. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. … Continue reading

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Pillow Chatter

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading. The wife  looks over at him and asks the question…. “What would you do if I died?  Would you get married again? “Definitely not!” he exclaims. “Why not?  Don’t you … Continue reading

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486-5731

‘Hello?’ ‘Hi, honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?’ ‘No, Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.’ After a brief pause, Daddy says, ‘But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.’ ‘Oh, yes I do, and … Continue reading

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Second Opinion

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a shrink and told him my fears. He said I should visit him 3 times a week for … Continue reading

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Romance

Barb was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he reached across, held her … Continue reading

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True Story

Lee Trevino/Why I Mow My Own Lawn : a true story. You gotta love him. One day shortly after joining the PGA tour in 1965, Lee Trevino, a professional golfer and married man, was at his home in Dallas, Texas … Continue reading

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Good Advice

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him. “Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three … Continue reading

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Romance

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: “You used to hold my hand when we were courting.” Wearily he … Continue reading

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Shrinks and Drinks

Ever since I was a child, I’ve always had a fear of someone under my bed at night. So I went to a Shrink and told him: “I’ve got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there’s someone … Continue reading

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