Tag Archives: Priest

Sipping Vodka

A New Priest at his first Mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. The Monsignor said, “When I am nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I get nervous, I … Continue reading

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The Hawaiian Vacation

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and … Continue reading

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The New Texas Priest

A new priest, born and raised in Texas, comes to serve in a city parish and is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of … Continue reading

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The Retirement Party

A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish.  A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner. However, … Continue reading

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Confession

A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, Enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his Attention but the drunk continues to sit there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on … Continue reading

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Two Catholic Parrots

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, ‘Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, But they only know to say one thing.’ ‘What do they say?’ the priest asked. They say, ‘Hi, we’re … Continue reading

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Jesus Christ

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, “I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. “I’m Jesus Christ.” The second … Continue reading

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The Polite Way To Call Someone a Bastard

A guy was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him. The first said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the twosome. They were even … Continue reading

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Father

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards. The man, who was a priest, said, … Continue reading

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Irish Alzheimer’s

Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday & the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with him & said, ” Murphy , I am … Continue reading

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